Iv lost count how many times Iv seen it in hundreds of forms. Iv seen what lies behind its Myriad Masks and what it is. It Mirrors my fears and desires. It's been there since I was child...I was into Ninjas, Masks, Aliens, and drew alot of things without faces, but only eyes. It's been there unconsciencely there my whole life. The first conscience realization of it came to me when was 17 to 18. Id been getting heavily into studying Magick, Experimental Industrial muzak, Surrealist art and writing Stream of Conscience Poetry, pushing too much, too fast. I'd sign my poetry "Naked Face" even tho I'd never even read Lovecraft, or herd of Nyarlathotep.
One day at a party, a few days after dropping LSD for the first time, We was sitting in circle, playing word association and telling each other our first impression of each other. This girl looked at me and her eyes got Big and she freaked and ran outside. Everyone confused, someone got her to come back in. She took me off to the side and told me "I seen this thing superimposed over you with no face, it face looked swirly, like it could molded like clay, It was skeleton like with gray-green skin and external ribs, the prettiest thing about it was the its wings. They was large and colorful, tattered butterfly wings". This was coming from someone who was a Virgin, never done drugs and a was bit naive. So I took it heavily into consideration. About 3 weeks later I spent Halloween in a mental hospital, due to being unable to sleep or eat for a week. I felt very uncomfortable in my body like something was blowing up like a balloon, void yet full. I was physically strong, my senses very acute to the point of it being unnerving, and I wasn't on drugs. They was giving me anti-psychotics and sleeping pills which had no effect. They was scratching their heads, trying to figure out what to do with me. I manipulated the psychiatrist to let me out, coz treatment was doing no good. I Flushed the pills, drank some beer ,smoked some weed with some friends and I felt alot better.
Since then... Well that's a very complex story...Put this way; Eventually I Signed the book of AZATHOTH in my own blood, requested to be an extension of Nyarlathotep:It said; "Your Wish was granted, but you will not know when it will come and if it'll ever end..."
Iv watched my own face be Assemutated into its Collective-Manifold - Totem-pole. Iv found my self a to be a Director in the E.O.Dagon, I started a Messenger ov Kaos group upon its request. It marked me in a dream with a angled rune on the brow over my right eye with a sword. It did come and I don't know if it'll ever end...
~.*.AzOtEp.* . Onward to Strange Aeons...
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